


What If...?

by TheElusiveEnthusiast



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:35:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27051265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheElusiveEnthusiast/pseuds/TheElusiveEnthusiast
Summary: The events in lab number five take a different turn when Envy is sent to take care of Ed alone. In a  weird chain of events Envy gets badly injured, and out of all people, it is the Fullmetal Alchemist that decides to help him recover. Will Envy accept the new alliance? Will he turn his back on the homunculi?Generally an alternative tale starting in the fifth laboratory. Some humor, some tragedy, some plot twists. Oh, and also sex. But also plot twists. Oh, and Hughes stays alive because a comic relief is much needed.The work will be probably long since I don't like short forms. I'll update as often as possible, at least a chapter per week. Let's see this turn into a 100k word fic. Strap in for an adventure!
Relationships: Edward Elric & Envy, Edward Elric/Envy
Kudos: 25





	1. The unexpected turn

\- You want me to create the Philosopher’s Stone from those prisoners?! There’s no way I’m doing that!  
\- Too bad, shorty!

Thoughts were flying through Ed’s head when he was looking straight into the mad man’s eyes. It was the first time in a while that he felt genuine fear. It was not the fear for his life; what made him shiver and almost completely paralyzed was that there was no way for him to know what was going to happen next. The long haired, scantily dressed teen already kicked him in the stomach and in the face, and with such speed and swiftness that Ed had no time to act. He was helpless. He felt his feet become cemented into place. His hands went numb. The mad man, much to Ed’s surprise was also standing still. The look on his face however was constantly changing. At first he seemed to be cocky but also intimidating at the same time. But after some time – probably surprised by Ed’s absolute lack of any movement at all – the previously mad expression on the long-haired teen’s face grew confused. He was ready to fight, kill, and destroy. But all he got was a paralyzed – and quite short – blonde. The teen wandered if he really was a State Alchemist or did he just steal his father’s watch, trying to impress his friends. But how the hell did the blonde get here? The teen was getting more and more confused, especially when he realized that his memory was more and more fogged. He decided to brake the silence.

\- What the fuck do you think you’re doing standing like that, huh? Fight me, shorty!

The teen’s provocative shout was met with no reaction at all. That made the long-haired boy panic. It was the first time in his life that the other side did not react at all. Who did he think he was? The teen could no longer stand the blonde’s ego. He decided that it is time to change the form of the confrontation. After quickly looking around the large room, the half naked teen casually walked over and sat on a large piece of the concrete ceiling that exploded a few seconds ago. Ed’s sight followed him al the way there. The teen made sure to locate himself in a place that would allow the blonde to see him without the need to turn his head; otherwise it would have been pointless.

\- Look, maybe we just got off on a wrong foot. I did not mean to scare you. I’m Envy, by the way. And you are…?

To Envy’s surprise, the blonde sharply turned his head toward the rock on which Envy was sitting. He then proceeded to walk over to the next rock, approximately two meters from Envy. When he finally got himself comfortable, Ed looked at Envy and finally spoke.

\- I am Edward Elric, I am a State Alchemist. I came here to investigate the research done at the lab. What the hell are you doing in here?

Ed’s voice seemed to be deep and raspy at the same time. Envy was caught off guard by the tone of his opponent’s voice. To think that such a small creature would have such a strong vocal presence. The long haired teen lost his words for a moment.

\- Uhh.. ummm… I.. I actually live here..

Wait, wait, wait. Why did he decide to be honest with the kid? What is wrong with him? The first time he went on a mission alone, without supervision, and he fucked up so badly in the first fifteen minutes of the confrontation? That was bad. Envy began having a breakdown. He knew that if he did not manage to convince the brat to make more Philosopher’s Stone, he would be terminated. He would have to run far away, as far as possible to avoid untimely demise. Edward, however, began feeling more at ease. However, he grew concerned when he saw the faces Envy was making. He started wandering whether he really did live here. The length of his hair suggested that he might have been homeless; any normal person would have went to the barber with such a palm tree on their heads. Ed stood up and approached Envy, who, surprised by what happened, fell of his rock hitting his head quite badly on the floor. Ed kneeled next to the injured teen.

\- Are you okay? That fall looked pretty bad… here, hold your head up.

To Envy’s surprise, the kid tore off a part of his white shirt and held it against the place where Envy’s head hit the concrete. Meanwhile, Ed thought to himself: either he was a subject of the tests and needed the stone for himself to heal or whatever, or he was homeless and thought he’d make a quick buck… whatever he is I have to help him. He quickly bandaged Envy’s head and propped the paralyzed teen against the wall so that he would comfortably sit. He repeated:

\- Are you okay? Look, I don’t know what shenanigans you got yourself into, but don’t worry, I’ll help you. If you’re homeless, I think we can arrange you some shelter in the barracks.  
\- What do you mean?  
\- You said you lived here. This place is clearly a ruin.  
\- Hey, I do live here! I am not homeless!  
\- You did not answer me. Are you okay?  
\- Yes! Why wouldn’t I be? Get off me, shorty!

Surprisingly, Ed managed to control his fury over getting called short this time. He watched as Envy got up, scratched his right thigh, walked a few steps, and fell due to loss of balance.

\- Umm.. shorty? I may not be okay after all. Where am I again?

Fuck. This dumb palm tree got hit so hard that he forgot where he is. It’s bad. Ed thought to himself as he went to pick Envy up. What kind of name is that, anyways? Despite not being much taller than Ed, Envy proved to be quite hefty. Even if Ed was in full health, picking the teen up would take some effort, and now he was injured after the fight with Number 48. Unsurprisingly, Envy was already passed out. This though made him easier to manipulate. Ed took off his jacket and tied it around Envy’s exposed back, so that he could drag him out of the lab. Fortunately, the exit was on the same level. After a few troublesome hours of dragging, taking breaks to catch a breath, screaming, crying, and swearing, Ed got out of that damned building. It was still dark outside. Ed looked around him, looking for Al, who was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, Ed heard a shout.

\- Yo, Ed! We’re here!

It was Hughes. He was waving to Ed to come over, but the blonde passed out before taking a simple step.


	2. The unexpected development

Noo… I won’t… Don’t force me to kill those people! I am no murderer!

Ed woke up, drenched in cold sweat. It took him a second to calm his breath so that he could look around. He quickly noticed two things. First, he was in a hospital room. Second, his automail was missing. Ed figured that somebody must have detached it, it was pretty beat up. His mouth was dry as a desert, so he decided to get up and look for water. It was night time, so he tried to move as silently and delicately as possible as to not wake up any patients. He was however forced to stop by something he did not notice when first glancing around the room. There was one more bed, and in this bed laid the teen whom Ed met in the ruined lab. What was his name? Evy? Ivy? Ed could not remember exactly, but he knew it was something weird. Thinking about it some more, Fullmetal came to the conclusion that this person was quite weird overall. When they first met in the lab, he was aggressive and provocative, attacking Ed with just his legs, delivering strong and accurate kicks. He was dressed in what would appear to be female clothing; a short skirt worn over shorts, and what would appear to be a sports bra – in extra small size however, due to the teen being a male, and thus quite flat. His hair was also weird, resembling a palm tree both in color and shape. But now, with the headpiece that previously held the hair in such a peculiar form was removed, the boy’s hair was smoothly flowing down his bare skin, and over the bed sheets. Finally, there was the teen’s personality. It seemed to be constantly changing. From aggressive and challenging, to friendly, to short-fused. Ed believed that this was caused by stress induced by poor living standards. The blonde hoped that the teen would be fine in a few days, weeks at most. He actually started feeling sorry for the person he dragged out of the ruined lab. Ed wondered whether he also lost his family.

A quiet moan caused Ed to snap out of his thought stream. Despite being the softest, the most gentle of moans, it almost gave the short blonde a heart attack. The palm tree seemed to be having a nightmare. He started frowning and shifting in his bed. Ed quickly went back to his bed and covered himself with the itchy blanket. The moaning got a bit louder for a minute, but then suddenly stopped. Ed heard some rustling and the springs in the mattress rattled quietly. It could only mean that the teen woke up. Ed was facing the opposite direction, therefore he could not see what was going on. For a moment he thought that his involuntary room mate went back to sleep, however, he was mistaken. Ed heard footsteps. The other patient was barefoot; Ed could hear the skin on the soles of the teen’s feet making contact with the tiled floor. The nameless approached the alchemist’s bed and hunched over its inhabitant. Ed could feel his breath on the exposed part of his face, as well as the dark green hair touching him. Suddenly, Ed was poked in the back of the neck. He did not scream, but jumped out of bed immediately, falling right on his face. He got right up, and much to his terror, face to face with the teen. Their faces were no more than fifteen centimeters apart.

  * Is everything fine?



Ed broke the silence. Or so he thought. The person opposite to him continued looking at him, not blinking even once. Ed thought to himself that this guy must be a pervert. Suddenly, the teen straightened their back.

  * You were talking through your sleep. It kept me awake so I listened a bit, sorry.



The nameless boy said while blushing and looking at his feet.

  * I think you weren’t having good dreams.



Ed was dumbfounded. But it still bothered him that he could not remember who was the person in front of him.

  * I’m sorry, but who are you?
  * Oh, you don’t remember? I’m Envy. We met… I actually don’t remember when… I think it was at the laboratory?



Now Ed’s memory was suddenly restored. He remembered how Envy suddenly changed his behavior. How he fell from the rock and hit his head. How Ed then had to drag him out of the ruin which was about to collapse. He remembered.

  * And what the hell are you doing here? You’re not wounded.
  * Well… I hit my head on a rock, but the doctor said I’m going to be fine. I am here mostly for observation.
  * And why are we in the same room? As far as I can remember, you were trying to force me to kill people.
  * Did I? I mean, I told you to make the Stone because I had to. Look, it was either them or me! My ass was on the line!
  * What do you mean?! And why are you not trying to attack me anymore?
  * Trust me, shorty, I would love to kick your ass right now, but I cannot.
  * Oh, is somebody scared?
  * Fuck you, dumbass, I’m not scared. I just cannot force myself to hit you. Must’ve gotten brain damage.
  * You cannot damage something that is clearly not there.



The boys looked at each other for a second before Ed realized that he was being a jackass.

  * Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said this.



Envy didn’t say anything, instead just sat on Ed’s bed, gesturing him to do the same. For the first time in his long, long life, Envy started thinking about his motivations. The blonde, while being a massive, short-fused dickhead, did save his life. Envy could not get over it. When Ed finally positioned himself in front of Envy, their eyes met again.

  * Why did you save my life? I tried to take yours, after all.
  * You might have tried, I’ll give you that. But when you started mumbling to yourself about being brutally murdered an turned into a pile of ash had you not completed the task or escaped, I felt sorry for you.
  * Wait a fucking moment. You heard what I was saying to myself?
  * Every last word of it.



Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The blonde knew. There was no backing out, Envy had to be honest. For the first time in his life, the pray put him in such situation. But was the blonde really his pray? Or was he something completely different?

  * For the first time in my entire life I will be honest with someone. So pay attention, I’m not planning on repeating myself.




	3. The unexpected tale

Edward thought that Envy was over dramatizing. After all, he was just some poor kid living in an abandoned, ruined laboratory. He also hit his head quite hard on the concrete floor, leading Ed to believe that he might still be in a state of shock or just have increased adrenaline levels. However, what Envy had told him at that very moment made Ed completely change his mind. Not even a mad man could come up with such a story. What added to the legitimacy of Envy’s tale was the real expression of pain on his face. The sort of expression a person has after losing a loved one, or perhaps… Edward could not even start to imagine what atrocities Envy had gone through. Oddly enough, his personality stayed the same throughout the whole tale, which threw Ed a bit off. When they spoke in the basement of the fifth lab, Envy kept swapping personalities as though they were gloves. From aggressive, to calm and friendly, to challenging and provocative. It was either the effect of hitting his head on the rock, or just sleeping in a normal bed that caused him to calm down, Edward thought. Suddenly, Envy stopped talking, put his knees up to his chin, rested his head on his now curled up legs and started softly crying. At this moment the Alchemist felt genuinely sorry for Envy. He fought the will to ask him more about being a homunculus, about the Philosopher’s Stone. He managed to bite his tongue, thinking it would be highly inappropriate to dig into those hurtful memories. Instead, he held Envy’s hands in his own – surprisingly Ed’s initiative was met with acceptance – and allowed the homunculus to keep crying. Edward remembered when his mother died; he also cried. He cried for days. But when he stopped crying, he felt as though he could finally get over what happened and move on. Therefore he was prepared to allow Envy to cry his heart out, hoping that it would serve as a therapeutic measure.

They sat like this for over an hour, not saying a word. The silence of the room was only occasionally broken by Envy’s quiet sighs. It was getting bright outside when Envy lifted his head from his knees. His face was completely wet from tears, and so were his calves. It was then that he took his hands out of Edward’s. He wiped his eyes and looked at the blonde.

  * _Why didn’t you laugh at me?_
  * _Why would I laugh? Who would laugh after hearing such a story?_



Envy did not respond. He was trying to understand how someone was able to be so good to him. He wanted to thank him, but he also wanted to be so angry at him; he wanted to tear the blonde apart, because he could not bear his kindness. No one was kind to Envy before. What was happening now was simply unnatural. He could not bear this. He wanted out. Death. He wanted to move, yet he was paralyzed. Kill. He could not focus. His breath was uneven, sharp, and shallow. **Murder**. He felt as though his body was falling apart. His heart was racing. His eardrums ringing. Even though the room was well lit by the now risen sun, his vision went completely black. The last thing he felt, or so he thought, was somebody’s hand on his shoulder. He lost consciousness.

Ed could not really comprehend what had just happened in front of his eyes. At first, Envy started softly shaking, then his eyes began swiping across the room. He than started mumbling something, but Ed could not hear what he was saying. Envy then grabbed his head and started shaking even more, so Ed wanted to comfort him by putting his real hand on Envy’s shoulder. At this very moment, Envy passed out. The young alchemist got genuinely scared. Since it was no longer nighttime, he figured he would quickly go search for a nurse, so that Envy could receive medical attention, as clearly his state was not as good as he thought. Ed ran out of the room, leaving Envy lying on his bed, trembling and unconscious.

He was alone. Surrounding him was and endless void, dark, cold, and completely silent. The silence surrounding him was almost deafening. Despite the complete lack of light, his body seemed to be well-lit; he could see it quite clearly. He was floating in this space, completely naked, not knowing where he was. He could not turn, he could not move a single part of his body. Suddenly, he felt tension in his left calf. Then, the same tension in both his legs and arms. There was no doubt – he was being torn apart. His skin, previously so tender, soft, and creamy, turned red, became bruised. Finally, his skin started ripping, blood shooting out of all the opened wounds. He wanted to scream, but was voiceless. Soon, flesh followed skin. The horrifying sound of flesh and other body tissues being torn apart made Envy want to vomit, but he was unable to even open his mouth. Finally, when skin and flesh gave way, the bones started cracking. However, they did not break; instead, his arms and legs were torn out from their joints, living Envy with just his torso and head. The pain was unbearable, it felt as though the places where his limbs were previously attached were simultaneously freezing and burning. When he thought his suffering was over, a force grabbed his stomach. In one strong pull, the skin covering the front of his torso, as well as his abdominal muscles, were ripped from his body, exposing the internal organs. Envy felt something reach for his heart. This time, he screamed. The scream, so loud and frightening that it could boil blood, bounced around the white, pristine hospital room. Envy was dumbfounded. He frantically looked at his stomach, covered by the white hospital shirt, and at his limbs. They were all unharmed. When he finally looked to his left side, he found the worried faces of Ed, a nameless nurse, and a tall, black-haired soldier. He noticed he was drenched in cold sweat.

  * _Envy, are you fine?_



Previously, the homunculus would have made sure to kill the bearer of that voice, but now it was oddly soothing to hear. Edward looked genuinely worried for the teen’s well being.

  * _I… I don’t think I am.._




	4. The unexpected change

The nurse told Envy to lay down, as she put a needle in his forearm. Envy hissed quietly at the small object puncturing his skin, still sensitive from the pain he thought he felt. The medicine started flowing and Envy relaxed. His muscles began to become less tense and his mind became lighter. He fell asleep.

Hughes put his hand on Ed’s shoulder and gestured with his head that they should live the room. They closed the door behind them and strolled the still empty hospital hall for a moment before reaching a bench.

  * _So, Ed, tell me. What the hell happened three days ago?_
  * _Wait a moment! Three days ago? Did I sleep for so long?_
  * _Well, yeah. That’s normal considering the amount of blood you have lost. Actually, I would say that you were lucky. No brain damage, no nothing._
  * _Lucky? Yeah, right._
  * _I’m still waiting for an answer._
  * _I went to the lab to investigate. I’ve heard that Marcoh was developing the Philosopher’s Stone over there. He made it from living people._
  * _How did you get in?_
  * _Al threw me over, he himself stayed outside of the fence. Is he alright? I haven’t seen him._
  * _He’s at the headquarters now. I think he is going over some documents with Mustang. What happened in the lab?_
  * _I was confronted by the guy you’ve seen in the room._
  * _Wait, the palm tree?_
  * _The **palm tree**. He went on talking about me making the stone. But he fell and hit his head pretty badly on some rock. _
  * _So you decided to bring him here?_
  * _What else should I have done?_
  * _Ok, I won’t hold you any longer, you gotta rest. Speaking of which, LOOK AT MY DAUGHTER, ISN’T SHE CUTE??_
  * _CUT IT OUT!!!_



While Ed and Hughes were talking, Envy was resting in the room. This time he did not have any disturbing visions of him being ripped apart and horribly mutilated. He was sitting on a grassy hill, surrounded by trees. He was breathing calmly, feeling to be at rest. It was nice; he hadn’t felt so calm in ages. His whole life was filled with stress, fear, anger. He felt that he could die now, and he would have been happy dying in this very moment. Suddenly, something grabbed his shoulder. It was a very gentle grab; as though someone just wanted to caress him. This touch was very different than the force that tortured him before. It made Envy feel soft inside. He blinked. When he opened his eyes, he was again in the room. But now there was Ed with him. He was grabbing Envy’s shoulder with his only arm at the moment. Envy looked at the alchemist as the blonde smiled.

  * _. what are you doing?_
  * _I’m just making sure you’re alright. You seem to have hit your head quite bad._
  * _Wait wait wait. Hit my head? Oh. Oh. Right._



Envy realized his memory, even though a bit slow, was now working better than when they first met. He kept wandering; even though he bluntly told Ed a few hours ago that he came to the lab with the sole purpose of getting the Stone and then killing Ed, the blonde still cared for him? Why? WHY? Envy was getting annoyed with all that kindness. But his body was not strong enough to fight back. For the first time in his life Envy had to think for himself, not being instructed on what to do. And the thought process he was having scared him. He was considering… being nice to Ed? No, that is not possible. He should be hateful! He should be ready to rip Ed apart with his hands, torture him, kill him in the worst possible way… and yet, he was unable to do so; he couldn’t even slap Ed in the face. Tears formed in his eyes and started slowly flowing down his face. Ed took Envy’s right hand and held it in his. They did not say anything. They just sat there. Silently. Looking at each other.

It would take him some time before being able and willing to admit it, but at that very moment, something had changed in Envy. He could no longer feel the anger that was previously so strong in him. He could no longer picture himself ripping Ed – or anyone for that matter – to pieces with his claws. By no means did he suddenly become a good person; but maybe just less evil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four chapters in two days, huh? Damn, I feel like I outdid myself. Maybe not yet 100k, but 4000 words is not too shabby. Thank you to everyone who has read this far!


	5. The unexpected attitude

They spent the greater part of the morning sitting in the room, generally silent but sometime exchanging a few sentences. Nobody bothered them, probably on Hughes’ order. Both of them finally got the much needed rest. However, around noon, a certain somebody decided to remind Ed that he was a State Alchemist, and that even though he was hospitalized, he had paperwork to fill out.

  * I’m happy that you’re recovering well and all, but every day there are forms to be filled. And you have four days of documents to fill, proof read, and sign, Ed.



Colonel Mustang was always serious about the paperwork. Even when Ed barely escaped death, there were forms he had to fill out before getting medical attention. Normally Ed would get annoyed with the colonel for visiting him at such a time, but Envy was sleeping and the blonde was bored. He was actually quite happy to grab a pen and fill the mountain of papers that Mustang brought over; there was something oddly soothing in that activity. After twenty or so pages he fell into a sort of a rhythm; read, check the correct boxes, sign. Read, check, sign. Read, check, sign. Easy as that. He was surprised when he was done; before, the hill of papers looked as though it would take him ages. Yet, he was done in under an hour. He decided to go get the colonel or Hughes to help him carry the documents – he did not have his automail installed yet, as Winry was not yet finished with it. Ed could not get mad at her, though. The girl was performing a miracle when it came to fixing the arm, often broken in very elaborate and complex ways, due to the alchemist’s less than careful approach to some of his tasks.

When Ed poked his head outside the room, he could not spot anyone who could help him with the papers. The corridor was actually empty, not a single soul in sight. That was when Ed looked at the clock – it did not take him less than an hour to complete the forms. It took him the greater part of the day; everyone was probably eating dinner at this very moment. Ed realized that he could use a plate of hot food. He went back to get some slippers. When he was preparing to exit the room, Envy started shifting in his bed, and was soon awake.

  * What are you doing?



Envy asked a simple question, yet for some reason, the alchemist could not find words that would describe what he was doing at that very moment. This inability to express himself annoyed him. The state of annoyance caused a bigger blockage of words, hindering any attempt of responding to Envy’s question.

The long haired boy wiped his eyes, shook his head, and sat up on the bed.

  * You know, sometimes I just can’t understand what the hell is wrong with you.



Envy put on his slippers and got up.

  * W-wait.. where arrre you g-going?



Ed finally managed to cram a few words into a logical sentence.

  * The dinner, obviously. I tried to take you to lunch, but you seemed to be super absorbed by the papers so I didn’t bother.



With those words, Envy left. Ed, still a bit shocked, exited the room as well. On the way to the lunch room, he kept wondering what happened to Envy. Before, he was mainly aggressive, sometimes straight out rude. But now, he was simply indifferent. That was a major change Ed could not pass off as hospital drugs or shock; it must have been caused by a fundamental change in the long haired teens mindset. Ed just couldn’t understand why such change had taken place. As a scientist, he tried to reason through Envy’s behavior. He wanted to find a cause for what happened. Yet, he was unable to do so.

The atmosphere at their table was so thick that it could have been cut with a knife. It was a mixture of awkwardness and social paralysis. At least for Ed, the palm tree was munching on his food without a care in the world. It amazed Ed that despite being of modest size, Envy could consume such copious amounts of food. He ate – Ed made sure to note – three plates filled to the brim with food: on the first plate, there were four, hard boiled eggs, twenty five strips of bacon (who eats bacon for dinner, anyways?) four toasts, each with different jam, and one slice of tomato. On the second plate, there were four wafers, one with honey, the rest with sugar, two more hard boiled eggs and one slice of a cucumber. On the third plate Envy decided to put a selection of hams (as Ed would call it – ‘surprise meat’) with two slices of brown bread. To top it off, Envy drunk almost half a gallon of tea before sitting on his chair and saying:

  * Oh gee, I’m almost full.



Edward noted that Envy’s stomach had visibly changed shape – normally quite flat with outlines of muscle, it now looked as though someone pumped it up with air. This was however gone the next morning.

When they returned to the room, Mustang and Hughes were both waiting for them. Immediately after the boys entered, the colonel approached Ed and asked him to come to the desk where all the filled out forms were.

  * Ed, would you kindly tell me what the hell has happened here?
  * What are you talking about? I filled everything.
  * You filled EVERYTHING. You had to check the boxes, but nit sign! Read this.
  * Well, allright…
  * What does it say below the signature box? Hmm?
  * It says… Oh shit… it says ‘Colonel Roy Mustang’
  * You’ll have to fill it all out again, Fullmetal. I’ll drop by tomorrow with the forms. See you.



With that both men left, talking about something. Ed assumed it was Hughes’ daughter, because what else could it be. The boys sat on their beds. The room was now filled with silence. Previously Ed did not really mind it, but since he felt the change in Envy’s attitude, the silence became awkward. He decided to break it.

  * Envy?
  * What do you want? I’m tired.
  * I wanna ask you something.
  * You just did.
  * Don’t be smart with me. Why did your attitude change?
  * What attitude?
  * Before you were challenging, aggressive and all. Now you’re just indifferent. You didn’t even call me short. Why’s that?
  * You like being called short after all?



Ed could bet that Envy’s eyes lit up at that very moment.

  * But you’re just avoiding my question.
  * Look, I have no idea what you’re getting at.
  * Come on. You know what I mean.
  * I honestly don’t. Now sorry, I wanna sleep.
  * Hey! Don’t you dare escape from answering me!



It was too late. Envy was already snoring, covered with his blanket. At leas he was pretending to be asleep, just until Ed would give up and pass out himself. When that finally happened, the teen sat on his bed and just looked at the blonde. He was not ready to speak to anyone about his emotions, and definitely not to Ed. He had a hard time expressing his basic needs, like hunger, tiredness or thirst, and talking about emotions? No way. But, perhaps, Envy was even more afraid to admit that his emotions, unlike his assumed attitude, were not indifferent?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I'm posting only this one chapter, instead of the usual two. Not to get into the boring reasoning why, but as you guys may have sensed there will be some action quite soon instead of what is going on right now. I tried to somehow prepare a good ground for what's about to come, hope I did not bore you to much.. :)


	6. The unexpected parting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So happy I managed to write this so soon. Hope you guys will enjoy it!
> 
> Quick note - I now have a twitter and a tumblr, both @TheElusiveEnthusiast. THere's not much on there yet, but I will fill both accounts soon, so if you want some extra content then follow me and take a look at what's gonna be posted there.
> 
> Stay safe and happy reading!

The night, despite being quiet and peaceful for Ed, was one of Envy’s most difficult nights in his life. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t move. Thinking about his emotions troubled the teen. He was never left to himself ever before; this freedom was also his doom. He was used to being told what to do; one could say that he had gotten too comfortable with such state of affairs. He resembled a child, whose overprotective parents, did not allow for the development of self-dependence; Envy was simply lost. Worse, he was not ready to be found. Whenever the fought of what would happen had Ed’s kindness continued, he fell deeper into the state of panic; he simply could not stand being cared for. It boiled his blood whenever somebody – the blonde especially –showed him any sign of kindness. Despite him now being more indifferent than aggressive on the outside, inside Envy was a ticking bomb. And during that night, that very calm and tranquil night, the bomb had gone off. Envy couldn’t take it any longer. He sat up on his bed and took one last look on the sleeping alchemist. He hesitated for a moment, but the dice were thrown. He quickly got up and looked for the attire in which he had arrived at the hospital a few days before. Once he finished dressing up, he stood in the room one final time. Had anyone, literally anyone, been there and told him to stay, Envy would have probably listened. But Ed was asleep. Envy was in this alone. He opened the doors and left as quickly and silently as possible. He ran out of the front gate of the hospital, and escaped into the dark and unwelcoming night. He did not stop for hours; running tirelessly through the city and then through the fields of the countryside. Only when he could no longer move had he stopped. Or rather fell to his knees on a wheat field. He cried. He screamed. He could not find a single solution to his problem. Was this the feeling people call… _love?_ No.. No. NO! Ed was his enemy, Envy had only stayed at the hospital because he needed sleep and food… yet, he started feeling comfortable… He was too comfortable. He was loosing himself. He could no longer tell who he was. Only when his vision started going dim and grey had he realized that the wound at the back of his head had not healed; his entire back was covered in blood. Why didn’t it heal? Envy fell on his face. He could no longer feel. He lost consciousness. Why didn’t the wound heal?

When morning came, Ed was lazily waking up. He first started hearing the usual rustle caused by patients getting out of their rooms to go to breakfast, or simply enjoy a walk in the hospital’s garden. Only one sound was missing; Ed could not hear Envy’s usual snoring. For now, the blonde just assumed that Envy was either awake and just laying in his bed, or that he was munching on pounds of bacon in the dining hall. Therefore, when he finally sat up on his bed and noticed that the palm tree was not to be found on his usual spot, Ed thought nothing of it. He took his bathroom utensils and proceeded to shower in the room’s shower. The hot water slowly falling down on his head made him feel as though it all had been just a bad dream; had he not remembered that he was missing an arm, he would have probably been able to believe that he was still at his family home, with his mother and brother busy in the kitchen cooking eggs. It was a nice thought which Ed did not want to let go easily. He was however forced to let it pass when the water falling on his naked body was no longer hot, but thermo shockingly cold. He quickly stopped the water and got out to dry himself. When he finished dressing, he proceeded to the dining hall, where he expected to find Envy. However, this had not happened. The only familiar face he could easily spot was Hughes, who was approaching him quickly.

  * Hey Ed, how you doing? You ready for the big thing?



Said the soldier with a wide smile on his face.

  * Wait… what big thing?
  * You don’t know? Winry got your arm fixed! She’s gonna be here any minute, so let’s go to your room and get your hand attached.



Not allowing Ed to reply, Hughes grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him to the room Ed had just exited. When they entered, however, Hughes’ expression changed drastically.

  * Look, Ed. I have to apologize, but I failed to mention one thing. Your friend over here is missing. Any idea where he went?
  * Wait a moment. What do you mean he’s missing?
  * We can’t find him anywhere on the premises. What we do know is that one of our patrols seen a long haired person running through the city with blood all over their back. They seemed to be headed north, to the farms.



Ed was terrified. He was afraid that Envy had done something stupid. He was not worried about the homunculus himself, he could regenerate and shape shift after all. But, despite not being worried about Envy but rather about his questionable actions, Ed felt ill as soon as Hughes broke the news. For reasons he could not explain, Ed started crying. He sat on the bed and sobbed silently. Hughes sat next to him and put his left arm around the blonde, trying to comfort him. They exchanged a few sentences, mostly sweet nothings meant to comfort Ed. He’s probably fine, Hughes said. We’ll find him, he promised. Finally, after a few minutes, Ed regained his composure right in time for Winry’s arrival. When the girl was attaching the alchemist’s hand, despite the tremendous pain, the boy didn’t even flinch. He was too busy thinking about Envy. He continued doing so for the rest of the day, even on the car ride with Hughes to the central command. Could it be that he had fallen for Envy? No way. He was just trying to be nice to the injured teen. That was all. Right?


	7. The unexpected help

Pain. All he could feel was pain. He had no idea how long had he been passed out. He was cold. He must have lost a lot of blood. His long hair were all sticking together due to the large amounts of blood drying directly on them. He curled up into a ball and cried. He regretted his decision to run more than anything else. He wanted to be back with Ed. But at the same time he didn’t. When he remembered Ed, especially the smile he had on his face whenever looking at Envy made him so angry, so disgusted. At the same time he loved and despised Ed. But above all, he despised himself for feeling what he felt. He could not grasp what was going on. He cried even more, but had no strength to scream.

Ed was in tears when he entered Mustang’s office. He cried, but didn’t know why. He cried when taking the papers from the colonel’s hands, he cried when hi filled them out, his tears dropping but thankfully not destroying the ink, he cried when he gave the forms back, and he cried when he fell asleep on Mustang’s sofa. He was a mess.

  * Any luck?



Hughes confronted Mustang. He had already discussed the searching plan with the colonel. Both of them believed that the escapee was both important to Ed as well as possessed important information that could be used by the military. He did live in lab five, after all. However Hughes felt that there was something more to it. He could sense the weird tension between the two, and wanted to help Ed resolve whatever issues he might have with that strange guy. He did not really care what was between them, but knew how important it is to know what do you stand on in a relationship. He did not want Ed to be forced to cope with lack of closure. Maes assumed that whatever was going on between the boys, they both deserve a conclusion. Should they want to continue, fine. Should they want to brutally murder each other, alright. But a common consensus had to be present.

  * You’ll be surprised. Our men found a blood trail that thankfully was not destroyed by passer-bys.
  * And the bad news is?
  * No body. We have searched all the farms in a fifty mile radius. We did find a place where he possibly fell and passed out, though. I have sent Havoc over there.
  * Havoc? I thought you might use someone more… well, you know. Someone more meticulous?
  * This task ain’t hard. He’ll manage.



After Mustang’s words, the office fell silent. Both men sat on the couch in front of the sleeping alchemist. They both worried about him as his superiors, but also as his friends. In the end they only wanted what’s right for him. He was just a kid, after all. He might be doing an adult’s job and act as one, he was still only seventeen. He was so innocent, so naïve sometimes, that you would never think he had such a serious job. Hughes was especially worried. He knew that Ed had never been in a serious relationship. Being the man he was, he could easily spot when there was “special” tension between two people. He was afraid that something happened between the two boys that would leave a long lasting scar that would destroy Ed’s personal life. Maes had seen too many young people succumb to such scars, or rather, never healing wounds. All of them ended the same way; they kept working to keep themselves from thinking. When they were burnt out, they either went to the regular army and died on the front, or taken their own lives. Hughes certainly did not want one more grave to visit; it would be one too many.

Meanwhile, Havoc and his team were already on the site. There wasn’t much to investigate. Some blood, two strands of hair and some broken wheat, where the body was probably laying. However, there was one odd thing; for some reason, the whole area where the teen was supposed to have lost consciousness was covered in fine dust; almost ash-like. The search party gathered samples and went back to command. There was not much to report. The search was concluded to be a failed operation.

Back at the command centre, a certain armor made its way into the office of Roy Mustang.

  * Brother! Here you are! I was so worried!
  * Edward Elric! Your state is the most worrying!



The armor brought company. And no regular company – a seven foot tall, three hundred pound major – Alex Louis Armstrong. He was worried by the events that had unfolded and decided to follow Alphonse to the office.

  * What happened brother? Are you alright?
  * Edward! Please, answer us! We are afraid that you are in worse shape than before visiting hospital!



Major was, as always, very expressive. He however acknowledged the gravity of the situation and refrained from taking the top part of his military attire. Instead he decided to sit next to the passed out Edward and poke him in the arm so that he would break out from his slumber. Major’s poking proved to be very effective. Ed jumped up, landing face first on the floor. When he got up and finally sat on the couch, he looked around on the four people in the room with an expression that read “where am I, what’s going on, why are you all here?”. And then he remembered. Tears again started flowing down his eyes. He did not say anything, he did not sob. But the tears were flowing and flowing, with no intention of stopping. After a few minutes of silence, he finally broke out. He wasn’t screaming, he didn’t even raise his voice. And that was the most troubling and, quite honestly, disturbing. He calmly explained what he felt, what he thought, what had happened in the span of last few days. He did so with no emotion. When he was done, he let out a quiet sigh and fell over to the side, landing on the major’s lap. He passed out short after.

All the men went pale. Yes, they did suspect that something was going on, but none of them, not even in their most daring dreams, had the idea that Ed was so invested into this situation. Despite their surprise, and in the case of the major, a strong emotional shock, all of the present and still conscious men made a silent agreement to find that run-away punk. They could not afford to loose Ed, both as a friend and as an alchemist.

Ed finally woke up around 6:00 PM. This time he did not cry. Whether he was too tired, or simply had grown indifferent, it did not matter. He looked around the office only to find out that he was alone. Not even his brother was around. Ed almost got up, but he noticed a short note left on the desk in front of the couch. It simply read: “Ed, we are sorry you found yourself in such a shit situation. We’ll do our best to help you.”. Even though it might have been hard for the blonde to admit it, but such simple words of reassurance helped a bit. He decided to get himself together and go back to his accommodation provided by the military.

The apartment complex was in near proximity to the command, but Ed always took the longer route that led through the center of the city. He could think on the way, and it was one of the few moments he had time for himself and himself alone. He carefully weighed the last days he spent with Envy. Maybe the troubled teen was simply overwhelmed by what Ed considered normal courtesy? Admittedly, he did smile like an idiot, but he didn’t do anything out of place, or at least that was his impression. But, as he strolled the empty streets of Central, he began having this odd sensation that he did something wrong, or that he didn’t do something that he should have done. Maybe, just maybe, had Ed been more wary and thought about what was he doing, Envy would have stayed? Ed knew well not to fall for such guilt traps. He learned to avoid guilt tripping himself after the failed transmutation. But this time, the alchemist could not resist speculating what today would have looked like had Envy stayed. Maybe they would have gone out to eat something good? Or maybe they would stroll the city? Or simply go to Ed’s apartment and talk? It was nice to fantasize. Before he knew it, the blonde was standing in front of the entrance to his building. It was fairly new, built from red brick. The door was made out of thick oak planks painted deep brown. He sometimes had problems with opening it on his own, due to his size. This time however, the door had posed no difficulty. From then, it took the boy mere seconds to find himself in his bed, with the third volume of “The Advanced Alchemy Guide”. Al wasn’t there yet, but Ed figured he was somewhere with Hughes, Mustang, and the Major. He fell asleep soon after, the book resting on his nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly so happy that I managed to post this today. Tomorrow I'm planning on posting some short stories on tumblr, I'll link them up on twitter as well.
> 
> Huge thank you to all of you guys that are reading my work! It's a true honor to have you here. Also, major shoutout to everyone that had given kudos to "What If...?". You made my day!


	8. The unexpected find

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that there will be some grahic content at the end. No spoilers, but if you're not cool with that, this is a heads-up.

The apartment was silent. Covered in thick darkness it felt as though it had been hidden from the rest of the world by death himself, covering the space with his robe. Ed was sleeping deeply for a few hours now. The book he was reading, however, was no longer on his nose, instead replaced on the bookshelf. Al came back from a meeting with Mustang and Havoc. Both men, given the findings of Havoc’s search party, decided to ask Al to break the news to Ed. They assumed, that since they were brothers, it would be best for Ed if he found out from Alphonse. The armor-bound boy, however, did not want to wake his brother and instead decided to wait until morning. He did not sleep. All the time, between coming home and Ed waking up, Al spent sitting on a chair next to his brother’s bed. He wanted to be nearby had the blonde awoken or begun having bad dreams. However, neither of those happened. The alchemist slept soundly through the entire night, as well as the greater part of the morning.

Having finally woken up, Ed was surprised with breakfast and a cup of steaming hot coffee, all brought to bed. It was unusual for him to get serviced like that by Al, normally instead of breakfast in bed he would have gotten shouted at by the armor. This had put Ed on alert. Not that it was not nice; on the contrary, the blond was touched. It was that such things always happen for a reason. However he decided to keep it to himself until he was finished eating. While devouring the bacon and eggs, he contemplated what might have happened. Surprisingly, thoughts of Envy did not come up until the very last bite; perhaps for the better, as had they came earlier, the blonde would probably have choked. It was troubling thinking about the long haired teen. Ed successfully managed to forget about his hospital-mate’s disappearance, and coming back to wondering what had happened diametrically changed Fullmetal’s mood. He did not cry, but he frowned. When Al finally sat next to him, Edward could sense what his brother was going to say. He was not wrong.

  * Brother, did your food taste well? I’ve put in extra effort. Look, I know it may not be an easy subject for you, but we have to talk about it, as it is extremely urgent.
  * Is it about Envy?



Al was taken aback. He made a long pause as he wandered how did his brother guess the issue at hand. Could he read his mind? The armor quickly collected himself and continued speaking.

  * Yes, it indeed does concern Envy… or rather lack of him. The mission sent to his possible whereabouts only found some blood and a pile of ash. They have no idea where he might have went. However, knowing his injuries, as well as the amount of blood found on the site, it is believed that your friend had passed and the body… excuse me, there is no way for me to put it lightly. His body is believed to have been taken care of by various scavengers, as indicated by paw prints of what may have been a large dog or even a wolf. I am very sorry, Edward. I just don’t know what to say.



Edward sat silent. He did expect bad news, but not such a horrifying message. He thought that they found Envy all bloody, maybe a few broken bones, but nothing too bad… What he had just heard, however, exceeded Edward’s most daring expectations. How could he be dead? And no regeneration? Were his assumptions about Envy being a homunculus wrong? Ed felt his entire body go numb. He could not understand how did things come to this. He rolled his hands into fists and closed his eyes that were filling up with tears. He was defeated.

Al let his brother cry until he calmed down enough to dress and go to central. Whatever the new might have been, they still had work to do. They could not allow emotions to get in line of fulfilling their duties properly. They worked for the army, after all.

Except the morning, the day was generally uneventful. After hours of paperwork the Elric brothers went to the cantina to enjoy their lunch brake. At least Ed went there with such intention. The armor obviously did not consume any actual food, and just sat there, watching his brother. Fullmetal seemed to have regained his composure and was munching down the surprise meatloaf with quite some appetite. Alphonse wandered what did it taste like. He could not, for the love of everything, remember the taste of meat. He could not remember the taste of anything for that matter. He felt his armor constricting him, and despite being over seven feet tall, it felt tiny, extremely tight. He wanted to scream, he wanted to run, sometimes he even thought of destroying the mark that kept his soul tied to this very armor. But he knew to well that his brother needed him. It was Alphonse’s duty to be there for Edward. In the end, Al’s life was saved by his brother, who lost his hand in the process. It would only be equal exchange if Al was there to assist Ed whenever he needed.

The generally tranquil atmosphere at the cantina was disrupted by two very serious men. They walked in through the main entrance. Their sheer presence was enough for silence to befall the room, as everyone’s attention was immediately turned to the two men – or rather – their uniforms. Unlike the rest of the officers who were wearing blue, the men wore black uniforms. That could only mean one thing – they were from the Security Bureau. They were a rare sight at the command, as they had their own office two streets from the military headquarters. They must have come here for a reason, and it certainly was not the rancid meatloaf.

The men immediately proceeded to the Elric brothers as soon as they had located them.

  * Are you Edward Elric?



One of the men asked the armor.

  * No wonder they call you the fullmetal alchemist.



The man was clearly confused by the annoyed look on the blonde’s face.

  * It’s not him! IT’S ME!
  * What? You’re the fullmetal alchemist? Excuse me, I had no idea. I’m major Tempest. I’m here to take you to the Security Bureau. There’s something you need to see.
  * Wait, the SB? I ain’t going nowhere with you! I heard what you do to people to get truth outta them.
  * It’s no time for jokes, Edward. Come with us. We’re here by colonel Mustang’s order.



After hearing Roy was behind it Edward did not resist and followed the two men to their car. It was a black sedan with tinted windows. Ed seen those cars cruising the streets at night. Never had he imagined that he would find himself in one. It was a short ride, perhaps less than three minutes. But when Ed wanted to get out, Tempest gestured that he stayed in the car, that soon began it’s journey straight down. They were on a car elevator. The lift went down a couple stories before eventually stopping. The car then drove off of it into the large parking space below ground. Finally, Ed was allowed to step out. The three proceeded to walk long corridors of what would seem to be the underground of the Security Bureau’s underground – one of the most restricted areas in the country. What clearance level did Ed exactly have?

When they finally exited the corridor and stepped into a large, empty conference hall, Ed spotted Mustang. The colonel immediately approached the three men.

  * Great, you’re finally here. Look, Fullmetal, I know it’s hard for you, but we need you to identify a body.
  * Wait a second. Did you drag me through the whole Security Bureau shit just to get me to look at a body? That is super shady, colonel.
  * It’s no normal body, Ed. You’ll see what I mean.



Mustang let the two men go and took Ed with him. On the way to the morgue no word was said. Edward was surprisingly calm; he was so calm it was almost disturbing. When they finally reached the large, steel door, they stood in complete silence until the entrance was cleared. Ed entered alone. The doors closing behind him, he began feeling uncomfortable. He spotted the ‘occupied’ table easily, by the white, blood stained cloth thrown over the body. Not thinking much, he approached it without much care. He lazily took of the sheet and… jumped back. He could not comprehend what he had just seen. The sight was so terrifying, so gruesome, so disturbing, so horribly disgusting. This could not be true. Ed had to take another look. This time he did not jump; instead, he turned around and vomited. On the table, there was certainly a body. A body of a teen, aged between seventeen and nineteen years of age. Long, black-green hair. Fairly muscular. About five feet eleven. The body itself, however, was terribly mutilated, with parts of flesh missing, exposing white bone. The stomach was ripped, with the majority of the organs missing. What was most terrifying of all was the fact that the body kept bleeding. Both of the blonde’s disgust and curiosity peaked. He took a pen lying on a nearby table and poked the body in what used to be a shoulder. To Ed’s surprise, the muscles seemed to contract in reaction to the slight pain. It was alive. He was alive.

\- Colonel? What the fuck?


	9. The unexpected return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I promise there will be more chapters coming up in the next few days.

The morgue was filled with the smell of chemicals. Ed was surprised that he could not identify any of them, as he knew the smells of most of the commonly used compounds. He stood over the table on which laid the body. His eyes were jumping from the body to the colonel.

  * So? What the hell is this supposed to be?



Ed’s question was left unanswered. Instead, Mustang took out his pen and poked the body in the neck. The men then observed its face – or what was left of it – flinch, as though it felt pain.

  * Look, I know it seems weird, but this body is alive. I have no idea how is it possible, but it’s fucking alive. I want you to figure out what’s going on.
  * How am I supposed to do that?
  * I don’t know, you’re the scientist here. I’m not the one who played with human life.
  * Do you have any documentation? Anything?
  * It arrived an hour ago, you’re the first to examine it. Get to work.



Ed was equally annoyed and disgusted. He had no idea why he was examining a random body. There was no way to recognize it anyways, as its face seemed to be torn off, leaving only some muscle that reacted to pain. But, as minutes went by, he became curious. He wandered whether he could somehow heal the body… It was alive, it was just wounded. He did not have to make life. Ed started collecting some of the most important chemicals present in the human body. When he had enough, he placed them all on the table next to the body. After a moment of hesitation he clapped his hands and began the transmutation process. He was thrown back by the major blast that resulted from his action. The whole room was now filled with a mist made of most probably concrete dust. When it finally settled, Ed approached the table. It was intact, but the body was nowhere to be seen; Ed began imagining the worst. Had he atomized the body, Mustang would have killed him on the spot. He stood there thinking for a good minute. He thought what might have went wrong. The chemicals were ok, there was no way he could have mixed that up. Maybe something wrong with the body? Maybe it wasn’t human? No, it must have been. There was no way his idea could have failed.

  * Where did you go? What the fuck happened to you?



Ed said to himself. Suddenly, a hand grabbed his shoulder from behind. Ed jumped, then tripped, and finally fall over and hit his head on the hard concrete floor.

***

  * Are you sure this is exactly what happened?
  * Yes sir. He jumped and tripped. I think he got scared.
  * Seems right. Hughes! Come here. Help me carry him.



Ed’s head was about to burst. He was not fully conscious, but some hardly legible voices made their way to his mind. He recognized colonel Mustang and Hughes, but there was a third voice he could not identify; but he was damn sure that he had already heard it somewhere.

He felt his body being placed gently on a bed, and his clothes removed by someone very gentle. He then felt a warm blanket cover his naked skin. He couldn’t move, but was weirdly comfortable. Someone stroked his hair. It was a small yet very soft hand. Ed was ready to believe that he had died and was now in heaven. But as he was thinking more and more, he began regaining his consciousness. When he started shifting on the bed, he felt the hand being taken away from his head. Somebody stood up and moved closer to the wall. When Ed finally sat up and opened his eyes, he almost passed out again. The person that stroked his hair and was now standing propped up against a wall was Envy. He stood calmly, with his hands crossed on his chest. For some reason he was wearing clothes that were oddly similar to Edward’s.

  * Morning sleepyhead. How you doing? Your head still works?
  * Envy? What the hell..?



The teen laughed at Ed for a second before coming closer to the blonde’s bed and sitting on the chair he previously occupied.

  * You want the whole story? It’s gonna be long.
  * I’ve got time.
  * Alright then. Where do I begin? Probably the day I left.



***

Envy took one last look on the sleeping blond. Had the alchemist woke up and asked the teen something along the lines of _What the hell are you doing?_ the teen would probably have stayed. But he didn’t. There was nothing holding Envy back. He could no longer stay in the emotional limbo. He hated how little he knew about his emotions. How little he knew about himself. It hurt him more and more. With every word exchanged with Edward, with every smile. The fire of emotion kept growing in Envy; a regular person would have been filled with the warmth of friendliness or perhaps even love, but Envy felt the fire burning him, hurting like an open wound. He started breaking. He could no longer think straight. He turned around and darted out of the room, the hospital, and then the city itself. He ran without stopping. He felt as though he was about to begin flying; at last, he felt free. His mind was at once filled with bliss. He thought he could finally rest. Little did he know that it were the effects of extreme blood loss. He laid on the field, his body twitching and numb, but with a mind so calm, so… relaxed. Darkness had befallen his eyes. He could no longer feel.

  * Dealing with humans, are we?
  * He is bad… we have to punish him!
  * That is right. How should we punish him?
  * EAT HIM!



The voices reached Envy as he regained consciousness. He was tied to four posts that were dug deep into the ground. Lust and Gluttony were standing right in front of him. They were all in some sort of a cave, the only light source being a torch held by the woman. Envy knew he was going to be punished. But he never imagined that would be his end. He watched in horror as the fat homunculus approached him and began ripping pieces of flesh from his legs. Envy cried in pain. The creature was ripping his skin, his muscles, his intestines. Finally, it feasted on Envy’s face. It ripped the skin off, leaving bare muscle and bones. It popped the teen’s eyes which shattered as though they were made of porcelain. Envy passed out due to shock and pain. He though this was it.

Suddenly, there was light. Lots of it. Envy’s body, magically repaired, was slammed against a hard, cold, concrete wall. He stood up and looked around him. There was a cloud of thick dust, but he recognized the outline of Edward. The teen was, for the first time, happy to see the young alchemist.

***

Edward looked at Envy in both shock, horror, disbelief, and worry. He was however confused how the teen managed to not even flinch when telling this story. Not even a single sob exited the long haired boy’s mouth. Ed stood up and walked up to Envy. They were less than a foot apart. No words were said; they just stood like that for a minute before Ed embraced Envy. It was calming, reassuring. But, it was only then that Envy realized how alone he felt before.


	10. The unexpected connection

They stood in the embrace for some time. Ed’s head was resting on Envy’s chest, and his arms tightly wrapped around the teen’s waist. Envy, however, did not put his arms around the blonde; he was in shock that they actually had non-violent physical contact. He also did not want to startle Ed, he was just happy that the alchemist was close to him. Envy felt all warm and fluffy inside, as though he was about to melt away like ice cream left in the sun for too long. Finally, Envy built up the courage to put his arms around Ed’s shoulders and return the embrace. To the teen’s surprise, Ed did not flinch; on the contrary. He hugged him even tighter. After a few moments they split, and Ed returned to his bed. He looked at Envy and chuckled.

  * Is everything fine, Envy?



The teen shook his head and looked at Ed, completely confused. He did not notice that he was standing, his back propped up against the wall, and his face covered with a big smile. He immediately crossed his arms on his chest and returned to his usual attitude.

  * Of course I’m fine, you idiot.



Even though he did his best to sound cocky, and even rude, his body betrayed him. Envy was blushing like hell. To his dismay, this made Edward take him even less seriously. The blonde burst out laughing. When he finally calmed down, he stood up from the bed and put on his hospital shoes.

  * Look, if you wanted a hug you could’ve just asked, you know? Let’s go get lunch.



That was one argument Envy had no response to; he was indeed very hungry. As they descended the staircase leading to the hospital’s dining hall, Envy’s mind was full of thoughts about Edward and what had just happened. In fact, he was preoccupied with those thoughts throughout the entire lunch. He ate less passionately, at moments it seemed he was forcing himself. This strange behavior was quickly noticed by Edward. The young alchemist was at this point familiar enough with Envy to spot a change in his attitude. He however decided to wait until the return to his room before questioning Envy about what was going on with him. While eating, they did not talk much, only exchanging opinions about the surprise meat that was served to them. The atmosphere was dense. Edward noticed that Envy felt very uncomfortable in the current situation.

Upon their arrival in the room the alchemist was currently occupying, the blonde began asking questions.

  * Envy, I know this may sound rude, but I’ll cut to the chase. What the hell is going on with you? You seem uncomfortable.
  * I’m fine.
  * Clearly you’re not.
  * I told you, I am fine. I know how I feel better than you do.
  * Oh, you know for sure how you feel. You try to hide it, and let me tell you – you are not doing a great job. Just tell me, what’s wrong?



The teen, who was previously standing at the window with his back turned to the alchemist, now turned around. His eyes were full of tears. His hands, as well as the rest of his body, and as Ed would soon find out – his voice, were shaking noticeably. He seemed to be highly distressed. Envy lifted his arms to his face, then dropped them, as though he did not know what to say.

  * Hey… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…
  * Shut up. Don’t talk to me when I think.



Envy wasn’t furious, he wasn’t even annoyed. He seemed to be… shy? No, that was impossible, or at least Ed thought so.

  * You think it’s that easy, huh? Being affectionate, emotional and all. You know who I am. Or what I am. I’m not supposed to feel! Do you have the slightest idea how hard it is? It’s unnatural. It’s like a flame that burns me from the inside. I hate it. I don’t want to feel. It was so much fucking easier before we met in the lab. I hate you! You made me that way! Why, tell me, why do I have to feel? And why the fuck is it you? And why does having feelings for you make me so happy yet so miserable? WHY?



Ed was speechless. He just couldn’t find the words that could formulate any sort of suitable answer. What was suitable anyway? Envy broke down crying and ran out of the room. This time, however, remembering what happened to him last time he escaped, Ed ran after Envy. They ran through the halls, finally exiting the building. It was already dark outside. Rain was pouring down heavily, as though it were to cover the world, flooding it completely. The water seemed dark, resembling ink. Finally, Ed got close enough to Envy to jump on him and bring him to the ground.

They landed in a puddle. The water, mixed with mud, was thick and it seemed as though it tried to swallow the two boys, hide them within the hospital garden forever. That did not happen. Envy landed on his face, but ed quickly turned him around. The blonde then sat on Envy’s waist to make sure he won’t escape. Grabbing the collar of his shirt, he lifted the teen’s face close to his own.

  * Do you think it’s supposed to be easy? Wake up call, Envy! Feeling is hard! It’s tough stuff, alright? But running away from it won’t make it any easier! Why don’t you allow yourself to be happy, huh? Why do you keep running?



Ed did not get an answer. He gave up. Envy was not a real human after all. Maybe that’s how it should be? No matter who or what Envy was, he had the right to think and decide for himself. Ed stood up and turned away. He managed to take only two steps before Envy grabbed his shoulder, turning him around. Before the blonde could say anything, his lips were shut by Envy’s kiss.


End file.
